摘自《宣公上人法語彙編》 /晨珪譯組 英譯 VBS 615
Excerpted from a Compilation of the Venerable Master Hsuan Hua’s Instructional Talks / English Translated by Early Bird Translation Team
問：在這個時代裡，家長們應該怎麼教育子女，讓青少年本身心理和生理都有一個健全的人格發展？
Question : In this era, how should parents educate their children so that youths can develop a wholesome character both physically and mentally?
宣公上人：青少年從什麼地方來的？這些問題青年也是父母生的。不過，做父母的不會做父母，父而不父，母而不母；雖然生出子女，不以子女為重，以貪歡縱慾為自己的快活，所以只會生而不會教。
The Venerable Master Hsuan Hua : Where do youths come from? Problem youths are also born from their parents. However, parents are not behaving like parents — a father is not like a father, and a mother is not like a mother. Although they give birth to children, they do not treat their children as the most important. Instead, they treat their greed for pleasure and their indulgence in desires as their happiness, so they only know how to give birth but do not know how to educate their children.
我們男女效法歐風美雨，恣情縱慾，隨便談戀愛，隨便追求異性，作為一個時髦的東西。一般人認為，如果男的沒有一個女朋友，這是一個白痴；女的沒結婚之前，若沒有一個男朋友，在西方來講就認為是一個神精病，沒人要。所以瘋狂的恣情縱慾，那麼雖然生出子女，也不照顧子女，只顧自己。結婚了二天半，三天也不夠，就互相討厭，就離婚了。
(Asian) men and women emulate and follow the ways of the Europeans and Americans, wantonly indulging in sensual pleasures and desires, casually getting in romantic relationships, and casually pursuing the opposite sex, taking those deeds as fashionable things. Most people believe that if a boy does not have a girlfriend, he must be an idiot; and if a girl, in the Western culture (as opposed to the Eastern culture in which a marriage is prearranged by the parents), does not have a boyfriend before her marriage, she must have mental problems and no one will want her. That is why people crazily indulge in sensual pleasures and desires. Even though parents give birth to children, they do not take care of them and only care for themselves. After getting married for two and a half days — not even three days — they start to hate each other and then they file for divorce.
離婚了，生出的子女，不是沒有爸爸，就是沒有媽媽。法官就給判了，說：「三天跟著爸爸住，四天跟著媽媽住。」
他們兩個已經離婚了，這個無論是男孩、女孩，到爸爸那兒住，爸爸就說：「你媽媽，不配做你的媽媽，她不是個好女人，所以我就和她離婚，找另外一個女人。你看看，我現在這個女朋友，心地非常好，而你媽媽是最壞的。」這個小孩子一想：「哦，我媽媽最壞的。」回到媽媽那兒去，就不睬媽媽了——「妳這麼壞，不夠資格做我的媽媽！」就聽他父親一面之詞。
Divorce causes children to go without a father or without a mother because the judge renders the sentence saying, “[In a week,] you will be with your father for three days and your mother for four days.” Whether their children are boys or girls, parents, after the divorce, start to brainwash them — when they stay with their father, the father says, “Your mother is unworthy of being your mother. She is not a good woman, so we divorced and I went off to find another woman. You see, my current girlfriend is very kind-hearted while your mother is the worst.” Hence, the children thought, “Oh! My mother is the worst.” When they go back to their mother, they will no longer pay attention to her, thinking, “You are so bad; you have no qualifications to be my mother!” — all because of the biased words from the father.
這媽媽一看，子女變了。也要想法子了，就對他（她）說：「你爸爸是一個最壞的男人，我受不了他的氣，所以才和他離婚。」跟他（她）講出一大套的理由，把這個小孩子弄得：「啊，爸爸也是壞的，媽媽也是壞的；那怎麼辦呢？我也來學一個壞孩子好了。」
The mother sees that her child has changed, so she also starts to find a way to fight back. She tells her son (or daughter), “Your father is the worst man in the world. I divorced him because I could no longer stand his temper…” She gives a long list of “reasons” [to brainwash the children], causing them to think, “Ah, my father is the worst, and my mother is also the worst — what should I do? I may as well learn to be a bad kid.”
於是就吸毒，也是亂七八糟什麼都幹了。也不關心國，也不關心家，也不關心自己的身體；因為這個孩子認為自己是個壞種子。爸爸媽媽都是壞，自己也不會是個好東西，所以就放棄節制，無所不為了。
Thus, they start to take drugs and do every bad thing that they can think of. They do not care about the country, the family, or their bodies, because they believe that they are “evil seeds” so they cannot possibly be decent people. Therefore, they give up all sense of self-discipline and restraint, and there is nothing that they will not do.
所以造成今天的情形，就是因為夫婦不會做夫婦，所以把家庭也都壞了，國也都壞了。假如人人要都能像孟母似的，像岳母似的，能以教子成名，教子成為聖人，那世界上，也就沒有這麼多問題兒童了。我答覆你的問題，不知道對不對？如果不滿意的話，你另請高明。
Such a situation like this today is caused by couples not knowing how to act like couples. As a result, families are ruined, and so are countries. If every parent can be like the mother of Mencius or the mother of Yue Fei, who successfully educated their sons to earn a good reputation or become a sage, then there will not be so many problem children in the world. I don’t know if I answered your question correctly; if you are unsatisfied with the answer, then you can find someone else who is wiser than I. ♣