An Excerpt from Ajahn Sucitto’s Dhamma Talk, “Unseating the Inner Tyrant”, Shared with Dharma Realm Buddhist University via Zoom on April 11, 2021
Chinese Translated by Zhang Chinli and Yingyue
摘自阿姜·蘇西托講於2021年4月11日法大線上專題〈調伏心魔〉
張親理、映月 中譯 vbs617
The Tyrant arises at the boundary between our inner life and outer context. Internally, we experience ourselves feeling what we’re feeling, with transient impulses, interests and passions, pleasure and pain. We experience inclinations that are either unacceptable by our social world or irrelevant to it, and there are those we’re not sure about. Yet we feel bound to present ourselves as acceptable to the world around us. And we get many messages as to what we should be. Some of these are to do with our intelligence, our physical appearance and our mannerisms. Our natural inclination to belong can keep us trying to catch up with what everybody else is wearing, or with the current jargon. Some of this is job-oriented or partner-oriented.
心魔在我們內在意識與外在環境之間的交界處現身。在內心，我們感受到自己的覺受，包括暫時的衝動、興趣和熱情、歡樂和痛苦。我們感受到一些像是我們被排擠在外的社交圈或者與之無關的意念，還有一些我們自己也不清楚的思惟。然而，我們以為必須表現出能被周遭環境所接受的模樣，以及接收到許多關於我們該成為怎麼樣的人的信息，其中一些是跟我們的智能、外貌、舉止相關。人類與生的歸屬感往往會讓我們效仿他人的穿戴，或者時下的流行用語；其中有些是導向於工作或伙伴為定位。
All in all, a huge amount of energy and attention goes into being an object that is acceptable and interesting to others in one’s particular group. Because of the need to belong to or be valued by others we’re under considerable social pressure, so our sense of not acting upon (and not even mentioning) the unacceptable can be based on that pressure, rather than on our own ethical sensitivity. In which case the centre of authority shifts away from our own heart-intelligence. We lose the heart, and become actors seeking an audition before an audience of ghosts.
總之，我們投入大量的精力和注意力，讓自己能成為一個在特定群體中，可以被他人所接納或感興趣的對象。希望受到他人的認可和重視，以致令我們承受著巨大的社會壓力，也因此讓我們對不為大眾所接受的事物變得無應（甚至隻字不提），而不是基於我們自己的道德觀作判斷。在這種情況下，我們的識智失去了決定權，我們失去了真心，像個戲子似的，在一群鬼眾前作戲。
Clearly we shouldn’t act upon or express every feeling and impulse that arises; we need to retain the authority to restrain, act or let an impulse pass. Otherwise instead of wisely handling the impulse (with the sense that “This doesn’t feel good.”) we relate to it from a reflex rejection of it, from the idea that “this shouldn’t exist.” And the problem is that immoral, unacceptable impulses do exist. This sets off an escalating inner conflict. If the impulses shouldn’t exist, then: “It’s my fault. There’s something wrong with me. So wrong in fact that I can’t tell anyone about it; I just better make sure they don’t find out …” etc. The Tyrant appears.
顯然，我們不應該對每一個發生的感覺和衝動，去採取行動或表態；我們需要保有緘默、採取行動或放任衝動的權力。否則，我們覺得「這感覺不太對」的時候，卻又不是以明智去處理衝動，而是用反射性來壓抑它，將「這不應該存在」的觀念與衝動給銜接起來。問題是，不道德的、不被接受的衝動確實存在。這觸發了不斷升級的內心衝突。如果衝動不該存在，那麼，「這是我的錯；我太不對勁；我實在錯得離譜，這根本無法告訴任何人；我最好確保他們不會發現……」等等的念頭迸然而生。這時，心魔出現了。
But look around and you’ll acknowledge that the human heart is capable of the most noble and the most selfish, brutal impulses. This is the heart. Handling it is quite a job, so we need all the encouragement that we can get. We need to sieve through the awareness of our own subjective experience, however messy and weird, rather than get stuck in the emphasis that we are seen to be “Ok.” (After all, who judges that?)
但環顧四周，你會認知到人類的心靈可以有最高貴、最自私，甚至最殘暴的衝動，這就是心。對待這個心，是個吃力的工作；所以我們需要盡可能去得到所有鼓勵。因此，我們必須要有一種對自己主觀覺受進行篩選的意識，不管它是如何凌亂和怪誕，而不是停滯在勉強自己被視為「還可以」。（說到底，誰來判斷？）
Now we may very well want to do what’s right and strive to be better and so on. But do you ever investigate the bases of such attitudes? What is wrong with you anyway? And how would that change? Notice what it’s like to believe that some aspect of one’s body or mind is flawed; and the fluster and tirade that occur when you forget something or make a mistake. What does it feel like to think about yourself? That which thinks about you – can it handle and work with your mind, or does it just complain? Does it offer guidance or support? And if not, how is any intent based on that thinker going to be of benefit?
現在我們很可能想做對的事，並努力想變得更好等等。但是，你有沒有去探究你這樣心態的根源處？好比，你出了什麼問題？那會有什麼變化？注意身體或意志上有某些缺失，這又是什麼感覺？還有，當你忘卻事情或犯錯時所出現的慌亂和長篇說詞，想想那又是什麼感覺？這種種的，你得內觀覺察自己——是否能應付並對治那些迎來的思惟，或者只是一味地抱怨？它有提供指引或支援嗎？如果答案是否定的，那麼，基於那個思惟的任何意圖能帶來什麼益處呢？
I’m sure we all have energies and attitudes that need to mature into wisdom. But maybe there’s also a way of helping the heart to grow up – by encouragement rather than through blaming or suppressing what’s unwise. So, how would it be to listen to ourselves with calm and empathy? Because we can tune into our intentions and feel the difference between good and evil; and we can choose goodness. This is wise development. And it only occurs through clearly acknowledging the good and the bad—and making a choice. Then the Tyrant is replaced by wisdom.
我相信我們都有需要轉化為智慧的能源和心態，但也許還有一種方法可以幫助心性的成長——就是透過鼓勵而取代咎責或壓抑。那麼，如何用冷靜心和同理心來傾聽自己的聲音呢？因為我們是有能力調整自己的思惟，並在感知善與惡之間的分別時，我們可以選擇善良。這是智慧的開展。而且它還只有通過清楚明確善與惡時，並做出選擇。這時，心魔才能被智慧所取代。
This change comes through restoring the undivided heart: through being with, and feeling with the energy and the feel of a mood rather than following it, getting scared of it or believing in it. The heart is then patient, attentive but uninvolved, listening to the voice of your mind. This practice takes us to ‘measurelessness’, the non-measuring of who we are and how long it will take to get better. Calm inner listening is then the primary means of unseating the Inner Tyrant.
這種改變是讓心回歸不分別：通過與能量和情緒的感覺在一起，感受它，而不是跟隨它、畏懼它或相信它。心是有耐心的、能專注的，但不參與其中，只傾聽內心的聲音。這種做法需要我們的「不計度」，也就是不去度量我們是誰，需要多久的時間才能變得更好。冷靜傾聽內心，才是推倒心魔的主要方式。
For spiritual seekers there’s the aspiration to experience purity, bliss and peace. The problem is that these aspirations tend to stick to the ideals but lack the know-how for their realization. And when we stick to such ideals, we look down upon and condemn the non-pure, non-lofty, and non-blissful. In the early years of my practice, this was how it was. We ‘did meditation’ on our own in little huts in silence, and there was just one meal a day. That seemed like a good training: prior to entering the monastery, I’d been living very casually with no restraints and I really wanted to turn that around. But through not being in touch with the heart, I turned restraint into an ideological compulsion…
對於靈性追求者來說，他們渴望體驗純淨、福佑與和平。問題在於，這些願景往往是空有理觀，而缺乏實修的知識；以致當我們堅持這樣理念時，就會瞧不起和譴責那些不清淨、不高尚、不幸的人。我修行的頭幾年，情況就是這樣。我們獨自在安靜的小木屋裡「作禪修」，並且日中一食。這似乎是一種很好的訓練：在進入修道院之前，我一直生活得非常隨性，毫無約束，我很想扭轉這種局面；但是，由於迴避自心，我把克制轉為一種意識形態的壓抑。
When you feel tension or when you feel relaxed, that’s a bodily sense. It’s not focused on a particular point, it’s a reference to the whole; and it connects to the emotions. When you feel welcome and when you feel rejected, there’s a bodily sense there. When you feel frightened or angry, there’s a bodily sense. If you bring up images associated with ill-will, you can feel certain energies shift in your body. If you feel you have to defend yourself or prove that you’re good enough, something in your body has to tense up. This bodily sense is affected and responsive. And you can be sure that meditation based on its afflictions and tensions will never arrive at peace. Instead it will be marked by tension and a contraction in which one’s capacity for warmth, or ease is diminished; so much so that one gets too numb to even notice the loss.
當你感到緊張，或感到放鬆時，那是一種身體的覺受。它並不是專注在某個特定點，而是對整體感受的參考，這和情緒有關。當你感到自己受歡迎或被拒絕時，會有一種身體的覺受。當你感到害怕或生氣時，也有一種身體的覺受。如果你釋出惡意相關的圖像，你會感覺到身體中的某些能量起動了變化。如果你覺得必須為自身辯護或證明自己夠好，那麼你身體中的某些東西就會緊張起來。這身體的覺受會被影響並生起反應。而且我們可以肯定的是，有煩惱和緊張的禪修是永遠無法達到禪靜。取而代之的是緊繃，在這種情況下，人的熱度或放鬆的能力被削弱；以至於變得麻木，甚至覺察不到這種損失。
This approach enabled me to note and include the intelligences of body, head and heart. I found this both transformational and at the same time very ordinary and obvious. I could establish kindness from knowing in my body how good it felt to be warm-hearted. Then I could develop the heart by collecting my thoughts on those occasions when others had manifested generosity, helpfulness or sympathy. These didn’t have to be emotionally highly-charged, just instances of the ordinary decency that people manifest towards each other every day. It’s all very natural; but for me it represented a return from the ghost realm of imagined objects to the real world of feeling subjects. And it allowed me to sit in that real world for as long as it took until it felt right to share that space with others, to bring other people into mind and share the kindness, compassion, forgiveness and appreciation with them.
這種途徑使我能夠關注到並包括身、腦和心的智識。我發現這不但具有轉變性，同時也非常普通而明顯。我可以透過了解身體對熱心的美好感受來培養善良。然後，在他人表現出慷慨、助人或同情的場合，我可以通過收集我自身的感受來孕育自己的心。這些並不需要高亢的情緒，而是僅僅人們日常互動中所表現的例子。這一切都是非常自然的；但對我來說，它代表著把自己從虛無的鬼魅世界拉回到感覺主體的現實世界。它讓我待在那個現實的世界中，直到我覺得與他人分享那個空間是正確的，令他人心有所感，並與他們分享善良、慈悲、寬恕和感恩。
Having established a foundation for practice, the key point for me was to keep the head from turning intents into ideals. For example, meditation in solitude is strongly renunciate, and certainly this is a skilful intention. Renunciation is an intention to keep things simple, an approach that supports ease of being, lightness of mind, and a wise use of energy. However when that inclination of the heart gets turned into an ideal in the mind, we become ideological about it.
在為奠定實修的基礎，對我來說，最關鍵的是要防止頭腦把思惟變成理想。例如，獨處中的禪修是具備很強出離心，這當然是一種善巧的思惟。出離心是一種讓事物簡化的思惟，是一種支援安樂自在、心境明亮及智啟能量的方法。然而，當內心的這種思惟在腦海中轉成理想時，我們就會對它產生了意識形態。
Then the Tyrant takes over, and renunciation becomes “the less, the better.” And an ideological mind is mono-focused – it sees everything from the perspective of its ideology. So how much less is less enough? “Even less!” says the Tyrant. An aspiration becomes a compulsion. That’s the way to lose balance. To counteract this, the “whole view” approach is to get a feel for how an idea is affecting your entire system. If it’s causing contraction and pressure, then it’s not been handled properly, and it hasn’t translated into heart.
然後，心魔就接管了，出離心變得「愈少愈好」。意識形態的思惟總是單一的——它從意識形態的視角看待一切。那麼，要少到多少才算夠呢？心魔說：「甚至更少！」願望變成了強迫，導致走向失衡的方向。為了解決這個問題，「全觀」的方法是能了解一個想法如何影響你的整個系統。如果它引起我們的緊張和壓力，那就代表處理不當，還沒有轉化為心識。
When you get a feel for energy and intelligence, it’s clear that the fundamental source and footprint of all the greed, hatred, restlessness and dogmatism that you can witness in yourself and others is this contracted and divided heart. However, in its contracted state the heart is too numb to know itself. So check your body: whether it’s anger that tightens, or dullness that makes you feel compacted, or greed that makes you feel you have to clench around some object—the body tightens up. It doesn’t do denial. Embodiment then serves as a reliable reference to our emotional and psychological states. If we can recognize them at that level and know how to release them, we undercut the base of all the hindrances.
This is not just a personal or internal matter. If you live in an urban environment, you have to deal with a certain amount of bodily tension that comes from impact: fast movements, unknown people, flashing lights, and cars charging at you every time you try to cross the street. The likelihood is that you’re going to feel contracted. That’s not your fault; that’s the body going into “defense” or “urgent” mode. But if that daily panic is not released or relaxed, it resonates emotionally as an ongoing sense of anxiety, irritability and restless need.
當你感受到能量和智慧時，很顯然的，你可以在自己和他人身上見證到所有貪婪、憎恨、不安和獨斷的根本來源和足跡，就是這顆緊張和分別的心。然而，在緊繃的狀態下，心太麻木了，無法認識自己。所以要檢視自己：無論是憤怒讓你繃緊，還是愚痴讓你感到繃緊，或是貪婪讓你覺得必須緊緊抓住某個物件——那都是身體繃緊了，身體不會說謊，然後，將其作為我們情緒和心理狀態的一種壓力指標。如果我們能在這個層面上認識它們，並知道如何釋放它們，我們就有了削剪所有障難的基礎。
這不僅僅是個人或其內在課題。如果你是處在都市環境中，你就得必須應付一定程度的身體緊繃，這種衝擊來自於：快速移動、陌生路人、燈光閃爍，以及過街時迎面駛來的車。這些都很可能令你感到緊繃。那不是你的問題，這是身體進入「防衛」或「緊急」模式。但是，如果日常中的恐慌沒有得到釋放或放鬆，它就會在情緒上產生共振，成為一種持續性的焦慮、煩躁和不安的需求感。
Of course, we can be nervous and still look like we’re relaxed and at ease. Since being at ease is what we’re supposed to be, we learn how to do it: we learn to adopt bodily stances that make us look cool and relaxed. But actually feeling it internally, really feeling free and feeling open is a very different thing. The real thing is uncontrived and natural, because the embodied mind is connected directly to the heart, not to what we should be.
當然，我們可能在緊張的同時，仍然看起來很輕鬆又自在。既然放鬆是我們應該做的，所以我們就要學會如何去做：我們學會藉由身體姿勢，而使自己看起來很鎮靜、很輕鬆。但事實上，在內心的覺受它，這與真正的自由和解脫是完全不同的。真實的東西是不造作而自然的，那是與我們的真心相連結，而不是與我們應扮演什麼角色相連結。♦